


Nothing is ever certain

by m_p_kal



Category: Sanvers - Fandom, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2018-10-16 08:12:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10567221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_p_kal/pseuds/m_p_kal
Summary: "Is everything ready for the final phase?""Yes, everything is set to place and the DEO has no clue about it or any other plans that CADMUS has initiated"Lillian turned to face me with a smug smile on her face"And that's all thanks to you, isn't it Detective Sawyer?"Yes all thanks to me...





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so i did a little poll in my twitter account @supereffingirl follow me if you want, to write a fanfic and sanvers won so here it is...  
> i have so many concepts and afraid that i will forget them so here is yet another fanfic and i hope you enjoy it...  
> Let me know what you think about it...

..."You don't think I am a bad person?"

"No, actually I kind of thought you were perfect but it's really nice to see that you have problems too"

"Thank you"

She was hugging me but my mind was elsewhere

That was the second time Alex caught me lying to her but thanks to my experience I covered it up again

Emily should have kept her mouth shut, yes we broke up because I "cheated" but she had no right to do that, to tell Alex about it, she could have destroyed everything, everything I have worked for all those months ago

I had to up my game I couldn't afford her to find out anything about me

I had a job to do and I would complete it no matter what or who I have to hurt to get it done

Perks of the job I guess

Alex was talking on the phone while I was lost in my thoughts, apparently Kara needed her yet again or she was hurt I didn't understand what happened because in a moment she was gone, leaving me at her apartment with free access to everything

I already had keys toner apartment which was of utmost priority to my plans but I had to play it safe and not been seen sneaking around so the fact that she had told me to stay gave me the chance to look for the thing I had been assigned to find

I took out my my phone activating the machinery disruptor, it's like an EMP but in a less wide range of area to disrupt, to take out any kind of surveillance, camera or microphones, inside the apartment

Alex and I had done things inside that apartment, if you know what I mean , and I had no prohibitions in voyeurism (it was kind of hot) but to do this job I couldn't afford for anyone to see what I was doing

I had found in previous visit the location of what I was searching so it wouldn't take more than a few minutes to have it in my hands

And so it happened

I disconnected the MD(not the best name I know) and left the building to deliver the thing

But not yet

I had to appear innocent and actually have an alibi if things turn on me, so I had to plan a possible robbery or to just plant false evidence that don't have any kind of connection with me

My phone beeped while I was finishing that with a message from an unknown number which was known to me of course

"Bring the thing in the docks after midnight, try not to get followed"

Like I ever get followed, they think me for an amateur

I am the only one not to get caught among them still

I had a few hours before I had to go there so I thought about relaxing for a bit

But Alex texted to tell me to hang out and to inform me that her bulletproof sister was okay

I told her okay because we had to "talk", lie in my case, so I got up and got ready

In 15 minutes I was in front of her apartment waiting for her and she showed up looking so amazingly beautiful but I couldn't afford to get attached, probably more attached than I am already, I had to do my job

She kissed me on the lips briefly and I tried not to feel anything in it

She told me to drive and she would give me directions to the restaurant where she had called to reserve us a table but she had other plans first

She took me to clear things with Emily

We didn't actually had to clear anything it was a cover story both of us had agree to, to cover for us knowing one another

The truth is that yes we did date but we were really not compatible so we broke it off and we were kind of friendly with one another and it really did bug me that she told that I cheated on her to Alex like that

She made my cover a little quaky but ever the amazing Alex didn't think of anything by it, didn't break up with me, didn't even have doubts about me cheating on her now or anything

She was a saint so pure and gentle nevermind her job she was a little white sheep

I stepped outside the car and saw that Emily was already outside waiting for me

I reached her trying to look uncomfortable and insecure and hoped i succeeded

"Wow you are a much better imposer than I remembered, you deserve a Oscar"

"Ha ha yeah nice to see you too, and to get to the point why did you say that to Alex my cover could be compromised and you know what that would mean right?"

"Well it worked out didn't it? I mean she came all the way over here to talk to me about why I didn't show up at dinner and about how I hurt your feelings..."

"Yes Emily but nevertheless you understand what it's at stake here, you are a part of it and you know, you didn't have to make things all the more difficult for me"

"Well I had to see for myself the attachment you have with this one and I guess you didn't disappoint once again and neither did she"

"What do you mean?what attachment?this is just a job that I have to pull through you know me work always comes first"

"Yeah I know firsthand but not this time, there are more things at stake now and you know it"

I turned to look at Alex direction and smiled towards her while she waved

"Yeah this time there are more things that are at stake"

"She's good you know it right?"

"Yeah too good for me"

"It will all pass Maggie you just have to have faith"

"Yeah I saw where faith got me, anyways I have to go because I have a reservation and then I have a meeting, it was nice to meet you we will see each other soon"

"Yeah don't be a stranger, besides aren't we co-workers?"

We hugged each other and then I went towards Alex's direction

"So how did it go?"

"Good, thank you for making me do that"

"You guys were talking about me there in the end?"

"Yeah she said how lucky I am to have you"

"She's right"

She grabbed me by my jacket and kissed me chastely and because I couldn't prolong this I told her to go

We ate dinner at the restaurant we had gone last night since it was both of our favorite and had a good time, really good time, me trying not to act as much as I did in the past and just have fun because in the next few days shut was going to hit the fan after my meeting and this could be lost

But I had to

At the end of the night I lied yet again when she asked me to go upstairs with her and told her that I had an early shift at the police station so I didn't want to wake her up as an excuse and she believed it

After a kiss i left towards my apartment to get ready for my meeting, it was 10:45 so I had to go in half an hour if I wanted to be there on time

At 11:50 I reached the docks and they were already there waiting for me

"You got me what I instructed you to?"

"Yes everything is right there"

"And is everything ready for the final phase?"

"Yes, everything is set to place and the DEO has no clue about it or any other plans that CADMUS has initiated"

Lillian turned to face me with a smug smile on her face

"And that's all thanks to you, isn't it Detective Sawyer?"

Yes all thanks to me...


	2. The beginning of all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to the past showing how the first meeting went and generally how Maggie's mission started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys... How are you??  
> Thank for all the reviews and kudos, they're so much appreciated   
> Anyways let me know how you like the chapter...  
> Enjoy...

The beginning of all

4 Months Ago

"You need to infiltrate the DEO without anyone knowing, do you think that's an easy enough task for you Detective Sawyer?"

"And how am I supposed to do that, they are even more cryptic and silent than us?"

"You will find a way, I have complete trust in your capabilities, I mean you have done so much to help our cause so far the people of National City should just give you a medal for eliminating the 'threat' above their heads"

"Yeah, maybe I deserve and the keys of the city as well"

"You know what they say about mockery don't you, Detective Sawyer? So please..."

"Ok, do you want me to start immediately or can I have a break after you know the task I had before I k-"

"You can have your break after we are done with this Detective, after all this is all we have been waiting for, our master plan to come to life, part of it has already began with my daughters arrival to the city like we planned so now the rest has to start and then you can have all the vacation time you need"

"Of course ma'am, everything is going to go according to plan don't worry"

"See why you're my favorite Detective, you always agree with me and bring results to me, I told you you would see our point of view eventually"

"Well ma'am the way you have made me "see" your way was very convincing not to believe"

"And you should still remember that, right detective?"

"Of course ma'am"

"Now back to business, you have a chance to get in the loop with them during the presidents visit in National City for that amnesty thing, pointless in my opinion but nevertheless it gives us a chance to move forward with the plan so that's your chance"

"Have I ever disappointed you?You handpicked me for this job because of the results I bring so please don't mock me"

"No you haven't but there is always a first time for everything "

"Anything else I need to know?" I said dismissing her retort

"Everything we have gathered are in here, noone must find out about you Detective this is of atmost importance"

"Ma'am yes ma'am "

"I expect results soon, now go"

While leaving I saw another familiar person behind the door seemingly trying to get inside but not before giving me a look after they tried to bypass me

Eventually I left the secret hideout, even Batman's didn't stand a chance against it, I mean even though CADMUS detested aliens so much they surely did love their technology

I was actually late for my job, well my first job not my double secret second job that actually has become my all time spending job

I guess my ex girlfriends were right, I was a workaholic

And that's one of the reasons why I have so many exes to count for

But anyway back to the task, infiltrate the DEO, its like wanting to infiltrate the pentagon with the whole CIA and FBI agents together inside

I guess I have to bring my A game to this task, that means nothing much just be the natural liar/spy person you are

A marathon of spy movies and binge watching Quantico could help too

Arriving at the police department I was quickly got up to speed about the news on the presidents visit in 3 days, acting happy about it of course and thankfully got assigned to be apart of the squad to be there

One task completed without even sweating

But that gave me a bigger problem all together

I was assigned to be kind of in charge of this thing so I had to keep an open eye for the people I was in charge of and the DEO, great

But I had done more difficult things in the past so this was a piece of cake, maybe half a cake, but it was doable

At least I had 2 and a half days to study the information about the DEO so luck was on my side and find a way to make all of it do

I only wish luck was on my side that day too

 

* * *

 

 

3 days later

Well the day has finally come...

The president was arriving today and the start of my plans will take place

I had studied thoroughly the information about the DEO and even though there wasn't much about them it actually gave me an insight about the way they operate and stuff, so I was ready for my test

One more plus to today's visit is the fact that our Super girl will be of attendance, her majesty had to attend the arrival of the president of course in a red carpet the rich and famous would be jealous of

And of course with Supergirl being there the DEO wouldn't be left behind, afterall the signing had to do with aliens

But first things first i had to coordinate the police force

We had made drills about positions and communication stuff so were kind of ready and of course I made sure to be left kinda alone while doing the other thing, the more important thing at the moment

Arriving at the airport I quickly gave orders and actually being satisfied with the outcome since everything was running rather smoothly on the first front

Now for the other I guess I just had to wait and observe

And there you go, Supergirl arrived and immediately everyone cheered, tried to get her to sign they're posters and clapped, like the hero she is ,deserved to have right?

Anyways my focus was all around the place and it wasn't difficult to find out who were civilians and who were agents. I mean really, you had to touch your ear so much dude

But it was harder to figure out who was what

The most obvious where the guys with suits, Secret services flashlights but there was one woman with a suit who was close to our very own town hero and well they seemed to be discussing, so I guess the phrase that suits here is Bingo...

I couldn't quite catch the face of that woman, the only thing I could see was that she had short brown/red hair, shoulder length and that's it, all of it

I am not gonna talk about her behind, even though an impressive one she was the enemy no fraternizing with them Sawyer

Of course I saw it, she was actually standing out, but enough let's concentrate now

But maybe she wasn't so...

No...

I started walking towards her but of course my luck seemed to run out

There was an attack on the president and due to the panic of the crowd I lost the woman out of my sight and for a moment I panicked but had to get back to my task and worry later, which I shouldn't have

Evetually, thanks to Supergirl once again, of course, the incident stopped and the president was safe and was actually Supergirl blushing while talking to the president, I guess even heroes have a right to fangirl

Anyways, I regrouped my team, my police team, and tasked them to find evidence about the attack, control the crowd etc., while I was trying to figure out who was behind the attack, forgetting for a moment my other mission

I approached the technician who was collecting evidence, pretty messily if I say so myself, and looked at the scorched marks on the pavement, but a firm voice of a woman stopped me

It was the woman with the short hair and I have to say her behind had nothing to do the front

She was beautiful, but at the same time so prim and collected, hard expression on her face, military posture, bells were dinging all over the place in my head

I guess enemies it is...dammit

Time for mission impossible to start

"Hey what the hell do you think you're doing on my crime scene"

Well let's play a little at first

"Anyone ever tell you all you feds are the same, like you all watch the same bad movies together at Quantico"

"Who are you?"

Well she definitely is a sunshine

Let's follow her directions for now

Fishing out my credentials I recited the most time spoken about poem i have ever said in my entire life

"Detective Maggie Sawyer, NCPD Science Division, we handle all cases involving aliens and things that bump in the night, showed you mine, show me yours..."

She took her time taking it out of her back pocket and that erased every single doubt about her not being with the DEO

The information I had said that they had credentials that could be change, for example changing them into the NASA ones or others. I would kill for that gadget, it was so cool

She finally pulled them out and said with a firm voice

"Alex Danvers, Secret Service, I am sure you mean well detective but this is a federal crime scene, you're contaminating my evidence"

Oh she didnt, mission or not, noone tries to best me

"I am contaminating it, your lackey over there is bagging charred carpet and crispy linear into the same zip log, I thought secret services would pay close attention to detail"

She stepped closer to me trying to be intimidating, but failed, if only she knew

"We have technology that makes your city pd lab look like an easy "

Ding we have a winner, she was definitely DEO

Let's up our game

I stepped closer trying to do the same as her, but decided to kind of help but at the same time look pissed

"Well even the NCPD local cops can deduce that the presidents assailant was either Kryptonian or Infornian, those species have heat vision"

She looked a little surprised by my admission but still didn't quite trust me

"Thank you, we'll take it from here"

I couldn't leave without any evidence that could help me

"The airport is within my juristiction"

"Your juristiction ends where I say it does"

And hot damn wasn't that the hottest line I have eve heard

Enemy...Keep cool and walk away...

"See you around Danvers"

Now that I found you I am not letting you out of my sight, but first I have to find out about this assailant in order to make them trust me

Alien bar it is...

And of course Camile for once more didn't disappoint

I reached the hide out and tried to find any evidence but didn't find anything and of course while finishing up lo and behold agent Danvers arrives with a pretty sick kinda looking bazooka and dressed in tactical gear

"Hands where I can see them"

Acting innocent I turned around let's play some more

"Fancy firepower for a fed"

But she didn't give me any attention, ordering her team to search the area but I informed her that noone was there, she turned to me

"How did you find this place?"

"I am a detective agent Danvers, I detect, you're DEO aren't you?"

Once again she ignored me contacting someone named Winner, mental check look into it and she just left without even saying goodbye

Rude...

Well I guess I should put my detective skills to use and find her number and then what Sawyer ask her out?

Well why not...

It was pretty easy to find the number, for a top secret agency they lacked some stuff, but that was to my advantage

I thought that the alien bar was the best choice to meet, maybe she could trust me if she saw me in there with them tell her a sob worthy story about my life and how alien I felt where I lived when I was younger and so it happened

I told her the story of my life

I even kind of introduced her to my ex, who was an alien and her reaction to me being gay was hilarious

But of course Camile showed up and told her the information she needed to find the assailant and she left without me even though I tried to follow her

But I guess it was a move forward she trusted me even a little, so it was a good, so I just went home and tried to fall asleep after being tired from the events of the day

The next morning I got a text from her saying that the Kryptonian was arrested and that everything was okay

Well I guess I would see her at the speech so nothing was lost and so it happened, but of course things once again didn't go right and an attack happened where yours truly got kidnapped after trying to stop the alien from killing the president

Yeah stupid but I guess it paid off when after few hours Supergirl came to my rescue bringing with her agent Danvers, who apparently as I heard afterwards had gone to the alien bar and asked questions for my rescue and eventually found me

After my rescue I was sent with Danvers to the DEO headquart in order to get treated for my burns and bruises

I guess I was more trusted that I thought or at least a little since I had just been in the heart of their operations observing everything and anything

I had a choice of staying there after my treatment but I chose to leave because I didn't want to raise any suspicions and excused myself because I had a date to attend

Leaving I tried to being subtle about observing everything that I could look and commit to memory

Going home i felt accomplished for today's events and quickly after sending a text to the "boss" I fell quickly into a dreamless for tonight sleep

* * *

 

"I guess the office is even bigger than we imagined being and looked from the outside...I will inform you for more later... - M"

She knew where the DEO was located

Once again she doesn't disappoint...

 

 

 


	3. "...wanna see a dead body?"

"...wanna see a dead body?"

 

3 and half months ago

 

"Veronica what a nice surprise, you are here for my delivery?"

"Lillian as always a pleasure, but I am not here for that, I wanted to personaly invite you to my next event, I know how much you like to see a beaten and bruised alien suffering and stuff, you certainly have missed the other events too"

"You know me too well dear, but I am kinda busy at the moment I might sent someone in my stead and i am still waiting for my delivery"

"Have I ever disapointed you? Only the best for you, besides you are my greatest byer and I can't afford to lose you"

"That's because you are smart aren't you dear?I always knew you were gonna go big Veronica, if only Lena was half the woman you are...sentimentality has ruined her"

"Well what can you do?Anyways I will keep you informed of any other events going on, waiting to see you soon and just to pick your interest let's just say that the main attraction at the moment is a little green"

"Well I guess I will make some time and come see in the future, as always a pleasure Veronica"

"Lillian"

* * *

 

"You told me that I shouldn't contact you so as to not compromise myself and now after only a few weeks you are calling me?"

"Detective Sawyer, mind your business and know who you are talking too, the orders were clear don't contact, not that you were not gonna be contacted and now after this nonsense of wasted time let's get to the chase, I need you to cover up something with your police involvement for a sort of friend"

"Depends on what you want to cover, black market, dirty money, suspicious trasactions..."

"A dead body..."

"A dead body?"

"Actually an alien dead body, the less you know the less you need to worry about, so can you do it?"

"I can try but it's wont be my fault if you're "friend" gets involved in any case, if evidence comes forward"

"That's ok detective just try to cover it the rest will be up to my friend, I will send directions on the whereabouts of the body and then everything is up to you"

"Ok Lillian, I will let you know on the process"

"Good detective, I will wait for news"

Great, another wonderful day on the job

Well let's go see that body

 

 

The body was placed in the port baggage of a car in the parking lot near the precinct covered with a blanket like that could help in any way and it was most definetely an alien body

Our friend here has heavy scar tissue on his knuckles and face, blood if you call black blood of an alien blood running from a wound in the head which most likely was the death blow, so it looks pretty clean to me, the car is old and doesn't have any plates so I guess it's an abandoned one and won't lead to anyone known so that's a plus too, so I guess all I have to do is wait a couple of days and then report it, of course always stating that my anonymous source got a tip

And that I did, except apparently a homeless guy tried to rob the car and found the body and after a little of a scream fest from fear of the body, a police officer nearby approached the scene and reported the crime

But then again nobody besides me went near to investigate the scene because they were afraid of the body like it could kill them, crybabies

But that actually gave me an advantage in order to search again for any other clues that needed to be destroyed, but once again i didn't find anything obvious clues

Hm maybe since my colleagues don't approach the body, I should call my new personal partner to "help" solve the case as a sign of good sportmanship, after all they were involved in alien activity

Well here's go nothing

"...Danvers"

"It's Sawyer... wanna see a dead body?"

* * *

 

Of course Alex Danvers would come running to the crime scene, she couldn't stay away from such cases apparently they intrigued her and of course wherever agent Danvers goes her running buddy comes too

"Do we know what species it was?"

"He is Cyvilian..."

I completely ignored that comment, going immediately to present the case with the cover I made 

"He has got months of scar tissue built up, heavy bruising on the knuckles, he just might have got out of fighting"

"That doesn't make any sence, Cyvilians are utopian, peaceful, they don't fight, they hardly even argue"

"He could have been defending himself"

Thank you Danvers continue with that train of thought, you are just making things easier for me, but let's give you a push 

"But there are skin under the finger nails"

"Yeah maybe you are right these couldn't have been defensive wounds, maybe he was the aggressor"

"...or brawl gone bad..."

"...somebody kills him accidentally, panics..."

"...dumps the body..."

Alex stops for a minute looking at the body looking like she figured out something and of course she did

How could you not have seen that giant horn kind of thing wound in the body Sawyer, it was right there, but of course you didn't want to leave evidence that could incriminate you so you didn't look under the blanket

_Stupid..._

"...well it looks like our killer was alien too..."

Play it cool Sawyer, don't panic

"...you'll run some tests on your super lab?"

"that's exactly what I was thinking..."

"well seems like you two have it handled..."

Danvers interrupted her and i could just kiss her right on the spot for that

"...maybe you can go over this with your contacts on the streets?"

"...already made a few calls but i will follow up though..."

 

And then Danvers left not even giving a glance to our hero, who was looking at her with a surprised yet curious look in her face, but immediately left too I guess to save the day again of course

I guess a call to Lillian was now of importance, but first I needed to wrap up this scene and find somewhere safe and without ears to make that call, so I had to wait until I got home for that

 

"Detective I am sure that you have completed the latest task i assigned you by now, right?"

"There's been an unfortunate circumstance on the subject, I called back up from the DEO to enhance their trust in me and they found a clue, a horn type of thing from an alien species in the body of the dead alien, does that lead back to your friend?"

 "I don't know I guess I need to find out from the source, but you did good to involve the DEO in the case, they need to trust you and give you access to the building no matter what, your first priority is to infiltrate the DEO don't forget that now I will let you know what i find out"

 

But of course once again Agent Danvers came to the rescue, not

She found out the species of the alien and due to the registry of all aliens found out where he was living and of course she called me for back up which is actually a good development to my mission

But of course it turned into a battle after I showed the alien my credentials and after a double fight against him we had him subdued but of course i guess since Lillian had informed the "friend" of the case she sent her guys to elliminate the threat but only made things worse for them, because now there was a deeper story to the case and Alex Danvers wasn't stupid to believe that it was just a fight that killed that Cyvilian

So play it safe I did

I called Lillian and told her of everything and because she didn't want any wrong turns in her plan she gave me the information of her "friend" and just told me to do my job

Veronica Sinclair, aka Roulette was the culprit of everything, I should have figure it out earlier

She had another of those events she hosted tonight, so that gave me a great opportunity to go ahead with everything

And that left only one more thing to do

Call Danvers

 

I decided to give it my all in my outfit, but not too obvious I wanted to see the reaction Danvers would have on me dressing for the part

So dress sexy but not too sexy and not my usual suit, high heels, hair and nails done and of course my charming self was present tonight

But I guess she dressed to impress too,because she looked beautiful in that blue dress she was wearing

I had to keep my composure and keep my game face on because I guess my gayness would have shown, but i have to admit I did kinda sneak a peek at her every time she wasn't looking 

I gave her a mask and impulsively took hold of her hand which was soft yet hard to the touch and off we went

I tried to give her as little as possible so as not to let her know i know too much already

But it was kind of obvious what was going on there by the minute we came, almost all the elite of National City were present, like a head of a bank and a city councilman, and we didn't need to wait long because the moment we stopped at a table Roulette stepped into the stage and everything came clear about the fight club

But there was a bit of a shock to me there too M'gann, the green Martian who was the bartender of the alien bar was a fighter there too. Shw was always so peaceful what was she doing here?

But then again Supergirl showed up and messed up the situation, but I guess seeing getting beat up was kind of a satisfaction and entertainment to me, so go girl

So after that I went to a bar , not the alien one and got wasted and kinda got flirty with someone and just to blow off some steam after the night decided to take her on a date the next night

 

I know that the bust was a failure, Roulette escaped and after that event the location of the fights changed and we would have to find out once again where they were held

And it wasn't that difficult apparently, because the next night we were once again after her and we arrested her, but of course she connections with important people so we had to let her free and it was nice to see Supergirl get beaten again, even though she won in the end

But the most important thing that happened that night was Alex's reaction to my date, or more likely my rejection to her offer for drinks and the sad face she made as I was leaving with my date

Did she like me? Was she gay in any way?

She hadn't shown anything like that ever but tonight she kind of did...

Hm I guess a test should be put in notion...

But tonight I am just going to enjoy the night with my beautiful date...

And even though i wanted to focus on my date, there was always a flash of warm brown eyes in the back of my mind...

 

 

 

 

 


	4. The evil shows its face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys what's up?? Yeah yeah the sky I know.... :p  
> Anyways, I wanted to dedicate this chapter to LOCISVU , you have commented in almost every single of my fanfics so kudos to you... :)  
> I hope you still enjoy the story for any questions you have i am open to answer if I can of course...so just ask...  
> With no further due...  
> Enjoy... :)

 

The evil shows its face

3 months ago

2 weeks...

It only took 2 weeks for my new now ex girlfriend to figure me out and by figure out I don't mean finding out about my super duper secret spy/villain work, I mean figure out my character

Hardheaded , insensitive, borderline sociopathic were just a few of the things she characterized me with

Even though I was kind of used to these kind of words being said towards me, it still did leave a bitter taste in my mouth to hear them again and actually from someone that I was actually kinda had some fun with and thought she understood because she was similar

I always do a background check on anyone I become close to, after everything I've been through i had learned to monitor everything and everyone in my life

Being safe was never a bad thing

And that's how things ended with the now ex girlfriend

She found the background check I had done on her, I should have hidden it better but to rest my case it was in a locked up drawer in my desk and she broke into it and found it

Thank god I had my case files stored elsewhere or it would have been a lot more worse than it was

I still wonder what she thought I had over there

She didn't even gave me an explanation about the break in, she just yelled, said those things and just took the papers and left

I guess I will have to mail her things or just burn them, I still haven't decided

But I know that burning or even screaming won't get me out of my kind of depression

It's not like I was in love with her or something like that, but I thought that's she understood me, she had almost the same experiences in life, the same past, the same view in life

But sigh...

Well back to being alone I guess...so let's drown our sorrows with alcohol and just forget for tonight

To the alien bar we go...

 

 

  
M'gann was behind the bar when I arrived and immediately gave me a strong one, she understood from the look on my face i guess

She's so good at what she does, I mean yes she is Green Martian, telepathy and such but she wouldn't be able to read my mind

Cadmus gadgets are conveniently helpful sometimes

I wentnto sit on a booth near the back of the bar and looked around it

There were aliens of all kind of species in here, others drinking, others playing pool or darts just minding their own business and relax in their safe heaven

These people weren't bad, every time I stepped into the bar some greeted me, thanked me for everything i had done for them, for the community but they didn't know what a backstabbing kinda bitch I was, how I was betraying them this whole time by being a part of their greatest enemy here on earth

But I have no choice in the matter I have to do this, I have to or else...

Ok Maggie you came here for only one reason lets not bring out all the rest or you will not just have a hangover in the morning, you will be in the hospital with liver cirrhosis

Focus on one thing right now...

And I guess you chose the right one to focus because lo and behold across the bar is Danvers, looking like an out of the world kinda being

She was literally glowing...

Her hair, her eyes, her body, her everything

It was like she was an angel who just came down from heaven to shine light to the world

Wow this stuff M'gann gave me must have been pretty strong, I was hallucinating already

I needed to sober up before I said anything weird to her and I needed to do it now because she spotted me and started her way towards me

"Hey Danvers, fancy seeing you here, come to arrest any rogue alien or just to have some chill and chill"

"Sawyer, you know that I am not always around the clock, yes you always see me on crime scenes but I have chill time and stuff you know too"

"Ok agent Danvers, any interest in a game of pool? You know I was kind of a champion in college so you should be scared of me"

College was a little years away and hadn't actually played for a while but it was kind like how to ride the bicycle, you never forget it

"Well champion how about a little bet?loser pays for the first round and not any cheap stuff, top shelf"

"You're on Danvers I could use a bit of a strong beverage right now"

And maybe I should have kept my mouth shut because damn Danvers was on fire

She kept things calm in the beginning letting me pot some balls but after I was only left with one ball and after a mistake i made she completely destroyed me

She even made the white ball pass the black that was in front of one of her own in the corner from above and actually spin to hit another that was right next to it and pocket that too

I simply raised my eyebrow and stared at her with a kind of shocked and a little in awe of her look in my face

When she caught my eye she raised her eyebrow too

"What its just physics and geometry"

I was just shaking my head and of course didn't let her finish her round, I went to the bar immediately and payed for my loss without even a glance at her

Well at least I got ahold of my poison and forgot about the other things for a while and started another round of pool with her, until of course Danvers had to bring up the reason I was here first

And of course after I had told her what happened, Alex, like a good friend, tried to consol me but she only just made me remember the things that I wanted to forget so with quick steps and words I left the bar and went home after a little stop to get some liquid courage and a pizza

 

 

  
The next morning I expected to have a hell of a hangover but I guess the pizza helped and I only had a slight headache

That's why I love pizza

Looking at the time in my phone, I noticed 2 messages waiting for me the first was from Danvers, she wanted to know how I was after you know, she was trying but I just didn't need that right now, besides she was the enmy, I shouldn't get attached to her

The second message was from an unknown number asking to meet me at noon, what did they want now?

It was 10:30 right now so I had time to take a shower and get rid of this headache, thankfully I had the afternoon shift at work so I was kind of relaxed

1 hour later I was ready and going towards the meeting place, but due to traffic i was a little late to the meeting

As always they were already there waiting

"Always a pleasure detective to have you in our present"

"Always a pleasure as well Billion, so what do you want me to do?"

"And why do you think I need you to do something for me detective, I could simply just called to have a little chat with you"

"Lets just get to the chase Lillian, I have things to do"

"Ok detective, lets get to the chase, I wants you to keep an eye on some people, I have been providing them with some alien weapons and they have been starting to get attention from the media and the DEO, so I just want you to not let them leak any information about anything concerning the organization"

"You know that in these things I don't have any power if they confess they confess, I can only try to not get them arrested but you know that the DEO will take lead if it has anything to do with aliens"

"well at try detective and if not things go our way I guess I would to intervene myself"

"Ok that's all?"

"Yes for now detective and keep up the good work, humanity is counting on you"

Yeah humanity...

I turned and left and went to start my shift when of course my new protection details had to make an entrance and before I could even sit in my desk I had to leave immediately because they were robbing a bank

Thankfully they got away but not before leaving a huge mess in their way and guess whose paperwork load had increased due to that?

If you said mine you were correct...

I would kill them or make them do the paperwork if I ever found them out

Anyway back at the scene, I was informed of everything that happened, casualties and stuff and continue to do my day job when Danvers arrived

I tried to show her that I was better than last night so tried to joke with her

"You know they didn't teach me one thing about anti-gravity guns in the Academy"

"We are analyzing thermo resident for any electromagnetic components of these weapons so we can create a counter measure"

She actually was cute when she was all that nerdy

"Nerd...."

But of course she didn't buy my act and had to ask about the other thing

"How are you feeling? Any better?"

"Now I just feel like I got kicked in the gut, instead of the face"

"After younfile your report do you want to do something?there is a great pinball bar that I know or that new food place is open"

Is she?

No...

"I don't feel like I am up to it"

"Come on you should come out, we'll go and you know have fun and celebrate singleness"

"Well i don't really feel like celebrating getting dumped"

"Maggie that's not what I meant"

"Well what do you mean?"

"I just thought that we could go and have some fun..."

I turned towards her waiting to see where she was going with this

"...keep each other company"

I raised my eyebrows at that did she mean...

"You and me?"

"Yes wh- why, what's wrong with that?"

I guess my instincts about Danvers were wrong, who knew...

"Nothing I just read you wrong"

"What do you mean?"

Well I guess I would have to spell it to her

"I didn't know you were into girls"

Her eyes almost left her sockets after my remark she was looking at me shocked and a little flustered but why?

"I'm not"

Oh I guess I was mistaken but why do i feel disappointed at that never mind lets backtrack

"Oh my bad, thats alright"

"I mean no offense Maggie...."

"No I get it you are not gay"

Why did that come out like that? I don't talk like that ever, it was sort of weird...

"Right"

She still was looking at me with a thoughtful look and still a little flustered

I don't know what came over me when I said the next thing but it looked like it was like a electric shock to her system with the way she looked at me

"You'd be surprised how many gay women I've heard that from"

Calm things don't let her go like that younfile destroy every single effort you have made on the mission

"Sorry I just-just thought you were angling..."

"No, no I wasn't , I was just tryin... I'll let you know when we make some progress"

And she left

Great job Sawyer, you should wait when Lillian finds out about your screw up and how it happened, she will totally understand that you messed things up because of your gayness

Just great...

 

 

 

Apparently I hadn't screwed up that big because the DEO included me, more like the police department with the operations, more like the arrest of my "protection op"

Before anything happened I contacted Lillian and told her about the whereabouts of them, but she somehow already knew and told me that she would take care of it

They did threaten her daughter after all

I mean really...were they so stupid that they went in the wolfs den

Didn't they know that she was her daughter, adopted or not she still was,and of course the kind of genius she is she found a counter measure to destroy the weapons and of course had thought of having back up in the form of our favorite super heroe, note my sarcasm

With little to no fight they were under my custody, after a few hours of waiting and being taken to prison but before that they started being weird

They were clutching their heads and started bleeding from their ears, I actually started getting panicked what was happening?

In minutes they were all on the road dead bleeding excessively from their ears and me standing there above them shocked

But I guess my shock went away when I saw a car passing by us and the window was open giving me a glimpse of the person inside it and ultimately the answer to my questions

She said she would take care of it, but that was...

My phone beeped when the car disappeared from my view, an unknown number had texted me

"See what happens to anyone who doesn't follow my instructions? See ya around detective..."

Well I found out the bad way I guess...

I needed to get out of there...I needed something strong , alcohol...

 

 

  
After quickly finishing my reports and stuff I beelines towards the bar, M'gann as always picked up my mood and gave me what I needed

I was so exhausted, mentally and physicaly, this week had been one of the worst in my life and there have been so many so far, I just needed a break

Everything, could go to hell if I did one small mistake, everything I have accomplished could be taken away, everything I have tried to protect could be hurt with just a little bit of a mistake on my part and I couldn't afford it

Lets just get back to what you came here for and think later

So thats what I did...

After several shots, someone else came to sit opposite me and of course it was Danvers

It was always her, she was so good she didn't deserve anything that was going to happen, she was a one kind of woman of purest intentions at heart, always trying to put peoples feelings above her own, but at the same time so troubled and insecure and guarded , her eyes could give that away easily you just had to look deep into them, find the truth behind the facade

So when kind of, like she said, dropped a bomb to me and even though she was the enemy, I tried to be supportive of finally after years of not understanding herself she finally figure out about herself, she figured out who she was

I've been there too and I understood and I wanted to help but I needed to keep myself away from that but be supportive too

What am I gonna do?

She left after confessing about her revelations and I tried to numb myself of the feelings it brought to me but in the back of my mind i felt this spark of hope that started to be ignited

I am screwed....

 

 

 

 


	5. Two lies and one truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,   
> How are you?I am fine thanks for asking...  
> New chapter here obviously not needed been said  
> thank you again for all your reviews and kudos and stuff....you are awesome  
> I am going to stop now so...Enjoy...

 

 

Two lies and one truth

 

2 and a half months ago

 

I really needed a drink...

That's all I could think about right now

No work, no other work, no problems...

Just a drink...a strong one

And after the day I had I really needed it, maybe play some pool too, relax

A few weeks had passed since the "phantom killing" happened, because we, the police, couldn't find out how they died, it was still a mystery

I could pretty much point out who did it, but I knew the concequencies that I would have to deal with if I did, i am not stupid

After that incident happened though, more crime seemed to appear in the city, not by aliens but by humans so i didn't have to get in contact or collaborate with the DEO at all, which kind of put me off schedule for my mission

But that wasn't the only thing that changed

Alex hasn't contacted me at all since the night of the dropping the bomb, as she said it

She is avoiding me, doesn't come to the bar as much, at least not when i am there, and i have been there more times these past few weeks than ever

Did she think that I would judge her or something?i have been where she is and i was younger too so if she wanted to, i could help her figure things out, figure out herself , since I didn't have that help when I was younger

Enemies or not, this was something that i couldn't ignore or let someone else let themselves down for being unique, because there was nothing strange or weird about that 

I had my fair share of judgement in the past, from people that I thought would stand by my side no matter what the cost, no matter of what I had done and you know I just...wanted it to better for her

I thought that it was some kind of redemption for me, for what I was doing to her, for all the lying, more like omitting of the truth but it was still lying

I guess I have to wait until she is ready, I can't do much right now

I arrived at the bar, ordered a drink and went directly to the pool table, not looking or observing who there at the time, i just needed to relax and forget everything and everyone

I took a cue, put the balls in the right place, lined up my shot with white and boom I started playing with myself, great opponent indeed

I needed the practise

I finished one game and was on my 3rd drink when i caught sight of Danvers talking to someone, a blonde woman with glasses who seemed to be drunk at the moment

Who was she?Danvers seemed to be really familiar with her, i could understand it from her body language and the soft look on her face

Maybe it was the famous sister I had heard of but it could be someone more romantically familiar she was with

Why did my stomach hurt all of a sudden?It wasn't a big deal, she was a grown woman and she could do whatever she wanted

I tried to ignore them, going back to my game, but suddenly Danvers was coming my way, be cool don't scare her

"Danvers, you're alive!!"

"Yeah, um, sorry"

"For what?"

"Well for coming in here and dropping a bomb on you"

"It's not the first bomb that been dropped on me.How you doing with all that?"

"I just, i don't know what to do now, you know, i am almost 30 and I feel like a kid again"

"Well everyones experience is different, I can only tell you what I did"

"Which was what?"

I couldn't exactly tell her my story, it would scare her more than relieve her and make her admit to herself who she is, so lie it is, at the most part at least

"I came out to my family"

She looked at little apprehensive and scared at my remark

"How did they take it?"

"Well my dad, isn't exactly known for his opened mindness but he was pretty cool..." _keep it together Sawyer_

"...and so was my mom"

"Maybe it's just a phase, maybe it isn't real"

That look in her eyes was one I had seen so many times in the mirror, she was scared but she needed to do it, she needed to admit it and to embrase it, not avoid

_If only you could follow your own advise Sawyer_

"It's real, you're real and you deserve to have a full happy life, ok tell your family, this is the biggest thing that has ever happened to you and you shouldn't have to do it alone"

"I have you"

"Yes you do and I am here for a drink when you come out"

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart"

Seeing her smiling me even if it was for a little, it made me feel like I had accomplished something good once again

Her phone beeped after a short few moments of silence and she had to leave, DEO emergency, but she didn't go towards the door she went straight for this blonde woman who was definetely drunk and with the help of her boss? they left

Again who was she?

Anyways, I left and went straight to my place, all this talking with Alex made me remember all the bad stuff that has happened and i needed to call the one person that was always there for me 

_...Toot...toot...toot..._

"Hey....yeah I know it's late...no don't worry I am alright I just needed to talk to you...you know why I couldn't call earlier, i can't put you in any more danger...yeah I am careful don't worry...yes I have...no just needed to hear your voice...I miss you too...I am going to hang up let you sleep...love you too, bye..."

I had clam down a little after that talk, she always has been able to do that

I put my phone down, went to change clothes and brush my teeth and went straight to bed, trying to ignore the darker thoughts my mind had conjured for at least that moment and just sleep

 

 

The next day was even more crazy than the one before

Apparently there was a purple kind of alien/paracite type of thing creating havoc in the city and of course instead of the action we were given the privelege of doing the paperwork once again

Sometimes I hate the DEO so much

But I guess that's how life goes...

And Danvers hasn't called for any back up so i am stuck

Maybe i could call her and what Maggie beg her to let you go with her, not you have some pride

Well I guess paperwork is my new friend

It had to be done anyways...

I grabbed the first of the one million that were there and started doing work

 

 

At 4 o'clock I was done with today's and yesterday's paperwork, so i guess I would be free tomorrow unless something happens, maybe i could use a little sabbatical to relax

Anyways, I went home, ordered some take out, took a hot shower, did some laundry and dusting that needed to be done, I was running out of clothes and my house was like a dump, so chores it is and then just relaxed in front of the tv, watching Orphan Black

After a few episodes I became bored and needed to do something, so decided to work out, that shower was a waste apparently

I worked out for a couple hours, by then i had gathered a pretty good amount of sweat in my body, wow i needed to work out more, even though I was fit and ate healthily, i needed to make a better effort, maybe start yoga again

After taking another shower, that soothed my sore muscles, the time was 9 and i was used to sleep much later than now, maybe i should just go out, to the bar

Well i had nothing to lose

I took my bike and within 10 minutes I was at the entrance

There wasn't that much of a crowd inside mostly some of the regulars, even M'gann wasn't bartending tonight she must have the day off

Well let's grab some drinks and head to the pool table, you still need practise

I took some turns playing, winning of course haha yeah because i was playing with myself, when Alex came over looking quite happy if I say so

"Hey Maggie"

"Danvers, I was hoping you would turn up, any interested in a game?"

"Well actually I was wondering if you were still up for that drink you promised me?"

She did it?

She was looking more relaxed and was smiling so i guess she did it, my face immediately caught on with the news and i smiled

"You told Kara?"

She was nodding at me smiling

I was so happy for her, so i reached for her for a hug, if only i had forseen what would happen next

"Yeah you did, I am happy for you, i am buying all night what are y-"

I couldn't quite finish my sentence because the next moment i could understand what was happening, I was being held back by an arm and soft lips were pressed against mine

The kiss was so short, but in the few seconds that lasted it burned out my whole body and my stomach flipped, butterflies seemed to fly into it but I had to stop this

I couldn't deceive her more than i am right now she deserved so much more and she just realised her sexuality I couldn't, i just couldn't...

And even though it was something that i wanted or at least thought i did, I had to let her down

"Wow"

She was looking at me with such bright eyes, they were shining even inside this bar with the little to no light, so hopeful and I was going to destroy that light in a few seconds

"I have been wanting to do that"

"Yeah I can tell"

"Was that not okay?" she said starting to get a little panicked

"You didn't do anything wrong"

"But something is wrong"

"Well, we are at really different places and everything is changing for you and everything is gonna feel heightend and shiny...and you should experience that for yourself, not just to be with me...and i shouldn't just try to get involved with someone who was fresh of the boat, those relationships never really work out...I am here for you, but as a friend"

Alex was so I don't even have a word too describe her right now, I gave her a moment to colect herself and then asked

"Are we cool?"

"Yeah, yeah no-no we-we're cool"

Without another word she turned and left I tried to stop her, but she just left

And i was just there feeling so shitty that i couldn't breath properly

I need air...

I took my jacket, rode my bike and went straight home trying in the mean time to calm myself down, which was futile

Arriving home I just couldn't, couldn't i grabbed the first thing i could reach and smashed against the wall

I needed to call her again, wow 2 days in a row that must be a record

... _toot...toot..._

_"Hello"_

When i heard that voice I hung up immediately, i couldn't do this right now, but a few minutes a call came from the same person and I answered

"Hey...no no i am okay, I just just....I screwed things up again...."

The sob that came out that moment didn't ease up until later

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is that person Maggie is talking to?  
> Hint: Maggie's storyline is completely different from the show's  
> Also can you figure out the lies and the truth?


	6. from bad to worse? or from worse to worsest?

 

 

from bad to worse? or from worse to worsest?

 

 

> _I need to see you, come to the meeting place tomorrow at midnight and don't be late_
> 
> _~LL_
> 
>  

Yeah that's exactly what I needed right now, to meet with the bane of all evils

I had a killer headache, not from drinking, I just had a few last night, only enough to cause a small buzz, but still my head hurt and my mouth was dry

Well I guess crying does that to you

It just came out like a river last night, couldn't be stopped, couldn't be contained just drops flowing out and falling on the floor

I had fallen asleep with tears still falling from my eyes

It had been a week since the event happened at the bar and I had gotten a leave from work after the following day of the event since I just couldn't focus and almost got shot during a gun shot fight at a robbery

Even the reassurance after the call didn't calm me down which most of the times did

I just couldn't stop thinking about it, her, she was hurt by me and hadn't replied to any of my texts or calls, for some reason it hurt so much, it brought up many memories back

It seems that I will always hurt the people that I care about, it's my curse

But now I just had to put that in the back of my mind and just get up because I was starting work again and needed to get ready, apparently there was a new vigilante kind of type guy in the city and was helping until last night when he killed someone and now there was a search warrant for him

So detective Sawyer was needed to solve the case once again, not brag but I was one of the best, maybe the best being a certain bat

Maybe later i could go to the bar and see if she is there, you know just to check up on her, yeah maybe do that, besides I needed to keep close because of the other thing

Dammit it was all such a mess

Just keep your head focused and deal with everything else later, like that would happen

After stopping for coffee and doughnuts for my partner, I certainly didn't want anything to eat at the moment

It was already a busy day when i arrived, I guess The Guardian, as the vigilante had self-named himself, was the top priority of the force, who knows what kind of criminal we had to be up against

After a few hours of debriefing and strategizing I left and went towards the bar for my search of another missing person, Alex 

Walking inside the familiar smell of smoke and alcohol was there, but another familiar thing was inside

She was there sitting with 3 other people, 2 men,1 woman, discussing I don't know what

She seemed fine, talking, drinking her beer the other 3 just as much absorbed in their conversation that they didn't notice until of course I stepped closer and talked with a plastered smile on my face

"Danvers...Hey, it's been a hot minute, how are you?"

She stood up, stumbling a bit while doing it and by her body language she was uncomfortable and still angry a little

Her tone when she spoke was even cold and like it was at the first time we met

"Yeah, good good, yeah...eh everybody this is Maggie, Maggie this is everyone, James, Winn and Kara"

The only name familiar face to me was Kara, the blonde from that night, so i guess it was her sister, that was all the familiarity, but up close she seems more and more familiar like i had seen her before somewhere

Well play nice Sawyer

"Oh the sister, I have heard so much about you from Alex"

"And I have heard all about you..."

The smile that I had on my face was completely vanished with her remark

If she could I would already be dead by now somehow, her eyes were screaming hurt my sister and I hurt you and that just contradicted the visual that Alex had portrait Kara as

Well one things for sure she knew and I needed to talk to Alex so...

"Can I borrow you for a minute?"

"Yeah..."

"So you haven't returned any of my calls, i was worried"

"I've been working"

"RIght....there must be a lot rogue aliens at march"

She gave me a small chuckle at that but then returned to her cold guarded behavior

"There always are..."

"Listen....eh... I just wanted to make sure everything was ok with us because the last time we saw each other things got a little complicated"

"I don't know I thought they pretty straight forward, I am fresh of the boat, that's not your thing, no big deal"

"Look I like you Alex, its just the situation, it's nothing personal"

"I didn't think it was"

"Ok good...so friends?"

"Of course" she gave one last smile and left and I was just standing there watching her go back to the table with a smile on my face, happy that everything was ok again, or so i thought at least

My mood had improved after that moment, i decided to leave the bar and go back home to catch up on some very much needed sleep since I had the Guardian thing and of course the meeting with Lilian tomorrow

Everything was going to be ok

 

* * *

 

I houldn't have spoken so soon because the next morning as i arrived to the precinct after my yoga class, which I decided to start again I needed to stay in shape more, Alex Danvers was waiting for me in the parking lot

I was happy to see her, I had missed her this past week and was looking forward for our next hang out, maybe after work we could go for pool and beers

But the subject of our conversation just might have just disconnected us indefinitely

She wanted me to lay off Guardian, which was insane he was the number one wanted mass serial killer in the city and she just wanted me to let him go?

She probably had some intel that indicated that he wasn't the killer but she didn't tell  me anything, she just demanded to just leave him alone without any explanations or even a reason as to why should i do that

And i tried to make her tell me, i did but i guess the conversation we had last night, the fact that we had established that we were friends was just nothing more than a disguise

She blew off the moment I said the words, "we are friends"

She started saying that we weren't and told the story from her point of vie, how we got closer, how we started hanging out and generally everything that was the truth and i was just standing there taking it all in because i deserved it and so much more than that

She kept talking about how i had deceived her about my feelings for her or maybe her feelings for me and how it was hurting her that i didn't want her

In conclusion she just said that this thing between us was not the thing that important rigth now, what was was that I just lay off Guardian and left without looking back at me once, leaving me there just standing

She was right, but she just couldn't understand the game that was being played behind her back, I couldn't be the person she wanted me to be, there was so much at stake to just leave this behind, to leave this mission behind, I just couldn't

Just forget it now, you have to stay focused and do your job at the moment,just wait till you get home and just let everything out

 

 

 

The sun had fallen when we got a signal that the Guardian was spotted fighting in an old factory and the units were called but i was already on my way there since i was outside already

Danvers was already there, somehow she reached there before me and was just standing there watching Guardian fight another guy with a similar to him uniform, he defeated him, knocking him out and then i was aiming my gun at his head, still staring a the 2 guys but Alex spoke and broke me from that and made me look at her, she was already staring at me and that just gave me the answer to what I should do

I put my gun down and told him to leave before the police cars could arrive at the crime scene

Alex after a statement of what happened left not giving a glance as she walked away, but I couldn't do anything right now I had to wait after the criminal was in jail and stuff

After finishing everything, i decided to go towards Alex's apartment because i really just wanted to clear things with us and be like we were before, friends

I knocked at the door a couple of times but no one answered or even a noise was heard and i remembered that every Friday night it was game night, so everybody must be at Kara's apartment, which i somehow knew where it was, duh of course I knew

It took me 15 minutes to arrive and the time I reached the number I stood there for a few minutes taking deep breaths trying to calm down

This needed to work or else everything i had done would be for nothing, my mission would fail and i couldn't afford that

I knocked at the door and thankfully she answered it looking a little shocked to see me here, which yes it would be, she came outside closing the door while doing it probably so noone inside could listen and asked me in a defensive way, what i was doing there?

I tried to pull forth all my true feelings and i guess it worked, because she let me even though she gave me only 2 minutes for it but it was good none the less

"I heard everything you said, I get it and if you never want to talk to me again, I'll respect that, I'll disappear....but i don't meet many people that i care about....and I care about you...a lot...you've become really important to me and...I hope one day you and i could be friends....because I don't want to imagine my life without you in it....."

I spoke truly, no lies or anything everything i said was the truth and only that

But i guess that wasn't enough because she just turned her back to me and went towards the door

I guess it was over...

But I guess my lucky angels were active tonight because she turned towards me and just said pool tomorrow night and after i confirmed that I wouldn't miss it she closed the door and i was left standing in the hallway smiling like a crazy person

I hadn't lost her yet...

But I would after the mission was completed

No such thoughts right now, enjoy the moments you have together

And you have the meeting with Lillian so just there, but after you have a pit stop at the bar, liquid courage

 

At 11:55 I was at the meeting place, as always the docks of course where else, and once again they were there waiting for me

"Detective, as always on time, but i won't hold you here for long i just need an update on the mission, have you gained their trust?"

"I am halfway there, only a little more time to have it fully"

She pulled something from her pocket, a photo and gave it to me, I raised an eyebrow at her and turned it to look at it and the content left me shocked

"So I guess that's what you are doing with agent Danvers by kissing her huh, gaining their trust?"

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next chapter we will find some things about Maggie and who that person she called last chapter was...  
> Stay tuned ;)


	7. A Happy Ending?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is a chapter we have all been waiting for right?  
> Things will be revealed, things are going to happen and since its based on the Medusa ep(2x08) you know what happens :D :D...  
> I am not going to stall with more rambling...  
> Enjoy...

 

 

A Happy Ending? 

 

_"So Detective is this part of your plan, because if it is I have to say good job..."_

_How did she get this photo? Has she been been spying on me?_

_Dammit now she has another card in her sleeve for me to do her dirty work, I have to play her_

_"You know how I work, I needed a back up plan if the first one didn't succeed so what better plan than this"_

_"You are certain very dedicated to this mission I have to say Detective, I just hope you are dedicated for the right reasons and not just you know, being misguided"_

_"Have I ever not shown how dedicated I am to this and you know the main reasons why I am doing this"_

_"Oh yes love, it's such a powerful thing huh, you will do anything for the ones you love and want to protect, such pity though that it can also turn you into a monster too, right?"_

_I stayed quiet, I didn't want to give her anymore satisfaction that she knew my weakness_

_"Ok Detective, I am sure you have your facts straight and know what is at stake if you cross me, so be careful"_

_She started walking away after that but I stopped her_

_"Why didn't you kill Supergirl when you had the chance, she was vulnerable and you could have finished it"_

_"Well what's the fun in that...I got what I needed from her, so now she will just have to suffer seeing the people she protects get hurt, that's more enjoyable, I know that you hate her Detective but wouldn't it be just too easy to just do that"_

_"What did you get from her?"_

_"Ohh let's just say that things will certainly be more interesting from now on, you will found out soon enough Detective"_

_With that she left leaving me there with my thoughts going from one place to another_

_What was she up to?_

 

* * *

 

It didn't long for me to find out what she had planned, I guess she was fast when she wanted to destroy things, more like aliens

Se had in her possesion a deadly kryptonian virus that could kill other alien species except Kryptonians of course

That's why she needed Supergirls blood so much and just didn't kill her

She wanted her to suffer, to remember each and every time that it was her people that created this powerful weapon and just that everything was her fault

Evil, manipulative bitch , not that I argue with her logic but damn

Her demented actions were based in her own kind of love, protection, revenge of what happened to her beloved son, after an alien put him to prison to rot and I actually do the same thing for different reasons, but i just don't know how to truly feel about all this

Those people had done nothing to her, there were refugees of war, famine, whatever you can imagine, and yes there were bad ones too but the majority just wanted to live in peace, to find a home

And now there were people who wanted to destroy that and I was actually a part of it, I helped do that

Alex had called me a few minutes ago saying that there was Cyborg Superman **(A/N CS=Cyborg Superman from now on)**   on L-Corp trying to kill Lena, but why would Luthor try to kill her, I just couldn't understand it, never the less I gathered units and went to maybe help, even though I didn't know who to help

Lillian didn't give me anymore instractions to what to do, so improvise it is

We arrived at L-Corp and a fight between Supergirl and CS was taking place, the place was a mess things broken

I took charge and started shooting at him when he had Supergirl pinned down

Obviously the bullets didn't harm him at all maybe just tickled him a bit, nothing more

He was taunting her, bringing down her ego, her feel of being the winner all the time when suddenly a some kind of portal appeared hanging in the air

We were all a little freaked out, but nothing came through it, it just vanished

And that's all it took for Supergirl to take the upper hand and bring CS down but that's were everything went bad for me

I don't know why but he saw me through the crowd and shot me with a laser beam and let me tell you those hurt like you cant even imagine

Supergirl came towards me, trying to see if I was alright,

But I wasn't... it was pretty bad or at least in my head it was

I passed out after a few seconds, Supergirl yelling my name but I just couldn't focus on her voice

In my passed out state I dreamed that I was in a meadow the sun was bright there were flowers everywhere it was such a beautiful sight to see

Suddenly i could here voices, laughter, there were voices, familiar voices

I saw them sitting in the shade of a tree, the 2 most important women in my life, both so beautiful, gentle, happy it was such a sight

Alex was sitting with Jamie, our daughter, making a flower crown and just the sight of them make me want to melt

Alex lifted her head and looked at me waving and saying something in Jamie's ear making her face light up, get up from her mothers lap and start running towards me yelling momma, momma

I dropped to my knees and when she came close to me i opened my arms and engulfed her in a tight hug, kissing her forehead and just didn't want to let her go, I had missed her so much

She lifted her head and looked me in the eyes

"Momma, why did you leave me?"

After she said that jamie disappeared, I kept looking around trying to find her but it was fruitless

The sky had suddenly started filling with clouds and Alex was coming closer to me, her hair falling in her eyes casting a shadow around them

When she was just a breath away from me she lifted her head, her eyes cold and emotionless

She brought her hand up to my cheek stroked it tenderly and just turned and left

I tried to call after her but I just couldn't speak, I opened my mouth but there was no sound coming from it, like my voice was gone

I tried to go after her but after my first step I tripped and the world went black again

 

I woke up, standing up from the bed, looking around for something, someone when my eyes fell on Alex and I immediately relaxed

Alex was here, picking some things from a table nearby, it was just a dream she wasn't gone she was here

"Hey you finally woke up, i thought the big bad detective would withstand this kind of blow but you quickly passed out huh?"

"Well bring me a gun and let me shoot at you and we will see what you do right?" I said with a glint in my eyes happy to see her here and she saw that

"Well I have been shot many times but I didn't faint like you did, so I have to say you are pretty soft and now shush because I almost finished with you so stop talking and moving"

And I did just that, at least until she made me wince after a little error in her stitches

"Sorry...you okay?"

"I am ok...just a little nervous you are not good at this"

"Well clearly the drugs have kicked in because you are done"

"Thank you"

"No thank you..."

"For what?"

"Well I told my mom"

"You did how did she take it?"

"Better than me, you know when you first suggested that i was gay I denied it and then thought that it was just about you, I mean how could i not like you, but deep down I still think i wasn't comfortable tat that was my new normal, but...it is...my new normal and i am happy that it is because...I...I finally get me and now i realise that it wasn't about you but it's about me living my life, so thank you"

She seemed so more relaxed and sure of herself, she was shining, not that she didn't before but now she was just radiant, confident, so beautiful

It was so hard not to stare, I could blame the drugs but it was all her

"Anytime"

With that she left saying she will come back in a sec, just going to get a status on the situation 

And that's when everything kicked in

CS had hit me but why? Was Lillian behind this trying to scare me or something

This whole thing made me think and there were some things that i needed to do, to make things better

My phone that was on the table nearby vibrated with a message

>  
> 
> I hope the accident gave you some help with your mission detective, talk to you later
> 
>                                                                                                                         ~LL

Of course, try to kill me without a warning to gain access to the DEO

My wound didn't hurt much so i decided to leave after the drugs were out of my system which wasn't too long

Alex tried to argue that i should stay but I just couldn't I had to clear my head but in the same time think really hard about everything that has happened the last 24 hours

I also needed to make a phone call but that was for later, not right now

I told her to notify me of any leadings to the case or if she needed any help

I left and went home, I picked up a glass and my favorite scotch and poured some in it but before I could take a sip a blast was heard and some kind of lighting was coming from outside

There was some kind of yellowish dust in the air, the virus must have been unleashed

People, aliens probably were going to die today, some who have treated me really good too, welcome me to the bar, helped me in cases and so on

I took a sip trying to stop thinking, to just stop but i couldn't everything was a mess

After my 3rd glass my phone vibrated with a message from Alex and for the first time I didn't want to open it, i couldn't bear the news, I just couldn't but I needed to so I reluctantly opened it

 

> Hey, virus exterminated, aliens alive and Luthor captured and sent to jail, just wanted to give you a heads up...How are you?
> 
>                                                                                                                                                              ~Alex
> 
>  

Lillian was going to jail, they had captured her, everyone was alive

I blew out the breath that i was holding and started laughing but at the same time crying from relief

I picked up my phone to sent Alex a message but I really wanted to see her so I dressed and headed towards her apartment after picking up some pizza and beers

i was standing outside her door for a couple of minutes trying to be brave and do this 

Come on Maggie now that Lillian is in jail you can do this, you have a chance just take it, take the leap

I knocked and when Alex opened the door I couldn't think of anything else but the thought that everything would be alright for once

"Hey hungry?"

"Yes come in please, ignore the pygamas"

"They're cute"

"You know...It's late you got a case or something, oh god i could use a god old fashion murder right now"

Now's your chance dont blew it

"Eh you know i didn't come here for work, I just... I really needed to see you... and talk to you"

"Is everything ok?"

"Ah em...here's the thing...I....almost died"

"Yeah i wouldnt have let that happen"

"I know that but....it got me thinking that I...I was so stupid...I thought that em ah... and I guess I was right that you came out for me and that scared me...em...but....life is too short and.... we should be who we are...and we should kiss the girls that we want to kiss...and i really just...I want to kiss you..."

I was walking closer to her while talking and by the time I had finished my speech I was taking her head in my hands cradling it tenderly and giving her the most passionate kiss I have ever given anyone in my entire life, it was like coming home

Alex was shocked at first not kissing back, but in seconds she was with the same fervor as me

We needed to breath so I stopped it regreting it immediately

"So you are saying you like me...that's what I got"

She always had a way to make me smile and that's what she did now by being her goofy self

"of course if you wanna go crazy i am the area"

"Yeah probably yeah"

She looked at me intensely in the eyes and then pulled me in for another kiss, just as amazing as the other one

We stood there like stupid morons after we pulled back again, just watching each other for a few more minutes when my brain started functioning again and i remembered the pizza and suggested we eat

We took the beers and the pizza to her couch and we talked, just talked about everything and nothing between bites and it was the most amazing night of my life

When i saw the clock striking 10, i decided to leave because there was something else i need to take care of

So with one last kiss and a promise for drinks tomorrow night at the bar to celebrate our victory against Luthor, i guess their I left

I was guidy on my way home, happy that everything was okay and well for once in my life or would be

But my guidy feeling left me with dread when i remembered what i would be doing in few seconds

i just hoped that everything would be alright in that front too

Arriving I did my night ritual, wearing pyjamas, brushing teeth etc etc just stalling until i should really make that call so when i finished i knew that the time had come so i sat on my couch, picked up the phone and dialed the number i knew with closed eyes

It took only a few minutes but the call connected, the voice i knew so well always warm in my ears, relaxing me

"Maggie, sweetie are you ok? It's not very often that you call and you have called me 3 times these past weeks, is there anything the matter?"

"No, no mom everything is alright rigth now, I called you to let you know that Lillian was arrested this evening and I am somewhat free finally"

I choked back tears, i really missed my mom so much she had stood by my side through thick and thin and I would forever be in her debt for everything that she has done for me

"Oh honey i am so happy, so that means you can visit us now, she misses you a lot, always asking for you when you are going to call and stuff, can you come now, take a week off and come here"

"I dont know if it's safe yet to come but i promise mom soon i will come and thats another reason why i called, is she awake can you put her on the phone?"

"Yes she is let me just get her, she is going to be so happy"

I was already bouncing my right leg up and down from anxiety of hearing the voice that i hadnt heard in so long

Those few minutes were the longest in my entire life but when i heard the voice on other end i melted

"Hello?"

"Jamie? Hey its me, baby girl"

"Momma?"

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...What did you think?


	8. Family meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi... How are you guys? Long time no see
> 
> I am back as you can see and ready to get this fic kicking again
> 
> Am not going to keep you up any longer just wanted to say...
> 
> Enjoy...:)

 

 

Family meeting

 

It had been 2 years since the last time I had seen my baby girl, 2 years too long, but it was a necessary loss on my part, even though the heartbreak it caused my little girl, it kept her safe

 

Jamie...

 

She was 7 years old now, she had grown up without me, but at least she had her grammy who loved her to the moon and back

 

But that day still haunted me, the day that I could have lost her, my little sunshine

 

I couldn't let her be in danger, I had to protect her from the world, from the danger my work was consisted of, she was hurt enough already she didn't need to ne anymore 

 

At least now that Lillian was in prison one of the dangers was crossed out and she was a little bit safer, even though it was for her well being that I became a full fledged part of Cadmus

 

Protect my family

 

And now i could see her at last with no more looking behind my back to see if anyone was following or anything else, although yes I had still had to be cautious, it was little more safer than before

 

With Lillian charged with a series of charges she would be in prison for a really long time and I don't think that the DEO would want her to be free again, too much hustle to handle

 

It was already scheduled, I would arrive there tomorrow morning and spend the next week there with the 2 most important woman in my life

 

Well 2 of 3 because now a new woman had come in my life and had really good chances to be a contender for a place in my heart

 

Alex Danvers, my girlfriend of 1 week and 2 days, I could actually mention the minutes and seconds too, but it could be too much cliché to do that right?

 

But still the past week and 2 days have been the best I have ever had in my life, excluding the time I gave birth to my daughter, which wasn't actually that good but the result was more than satisfying 

 

Alex was actually so sweet and caring, she always asked me about my day and would stop by the precinct to see me or bring me lunch, it was all so thoughtful 

 

I actually had taken her on a date the next day of my finally expressing my feelings to her, not all my feelings, but it was really nice and the best first date i have ever been to

 

I was really happy, for real, for the first time in the past 3 years and that was all thanks to her and of course the part where I could see my family again

 

But it was still a bittersweet moment to be with her, I had told her so many lies and I could lose her, only with the utter of the name Cadmus and me being involved with them, but I just wished that she would understand my reasons, though I doubt it since she was super close with the girl of steel 

 

I hated that alien so much and I can see that in the future Alex and I would have one too many arguments about her

 

But enough about her, she had done enough already, I didn't need her to down my good mood, I was going to see my daughter tomorrow and nothing could stop me from being happy about that

 

But right now I had to get focused and finish packing before I had to leave and go spend the day with Alex and her sister, Kara. I was finally officially meeting her as Alex's girlfriend and I was a little nervous about it, that girl could certainly glare daggers at you, she was kind of scary but so familiar at the same time, I had seen her somewhere before and I would figure out where 

 

My bell snapped me out of my thoughts, Alex was here 

 

Cue giddy feelings and butterflies doing marathons in my stomach

 

I went to open the door and immediately brought out the dimple smile out at the sight of her

 

As always she was wearing black jeans, shirt and her leather jacket, the badass look, which always made me a little bit more turned on in her presence, but we were not there yet, too soon

 

She smiled at the sight of me and checked me out trying to be a little subtle about it but i caught her, I am a detective after all

 

She stepped forward and kissed me, always bringing more giddy feelings in me 

 

"Hey Danvers how are you?"

 

"Really Sawyer, still calling me Danvers? I thought you would have stopped that by now"

 

"What its cute and besides its your name, your real name..."

 

"Yeah I know Maggie but still you can call me Alex that's my real name too you know"

 

"Nah I don't think so, maybe I should find you a nickname...hm...oh how about cutie bear or honey? Like them?"

 

She blushed a little at the nicknames but still had a scowl on her face, I guess she wanted something more badassary than that

 

"That's stupid and no I just think that Alex is more appropriate than Danvers, I don't need a nickname"

 

"Well too bad for you now honeyskins, I will find you a nickname now, I just have to find the right one"

 

"On second thought Danvers is just fine, call me that"

 

 I raised my brow at her but didn't comment just went back to making my suitcase her following me behind

 

"So you will be gone for a week huh?"

 

"Yeah and you better keep the town safe till I come back or there will be consequences "

 

"Yeah yeah like you could take me Sawyer...so you are visiting your family? That must be exciting"

 

Of course I told Alex I was visiting family, which was the truth, I just didn't tell her what family i was visiting, she still doesn't know about Jamie or anything about my past, which for now is a good thing 

 

 "Yeah I haven't seen them in a long time due to work and stuff so I am really excited to go, but there will be someone i will miss from here too you know"

 

She came closer to me and brought her hands around my waist, bringing me closer to her body

 

"Aha eh and that would be?"

 

 "M'gann of course, she serves the best drinks in town and she is the best bartender ever"

 

 "Ok Sawyer whatever you say, now hurry up or we will leave a very hungry sister eating all our food in seconds"

 

I finished everything after a few seconds and we left heading towards Kara's apartment where we three would have a "sister night" whatever that consists of, as Alex called it

 

We arrived in minutes and when we were just going to knock the door it opened itself revealing behind a very excited Kara behind it

 

How did she? I don't know 

 

"Hey guys come on in, come on, the food has arrived and I was just seconds before eating all of it"

 

Alex looked at me with an 'i told you' look which yes was pretty much spot on 

 

We went inside and I immediately scanned the area, like the good cop I was

 

The place was very spacious, with floor to ceiling windows that had one of the best views in the city I had ever seen. I knew from Alex that this used to be her old apartment and I just now couldn't believe that she gave this up, not that her new one wasn't a nice one, but this was just wow

 

We walked towards the couches where the food was set on plates and quickly dug in with small talk here and there

 

Apparently, as I learned, sister night consisted of 3 phases:

 

First one was eating dinner, because a certain little sister was always hungry, which was proven to me after I saw the plate she had served herself

 

Second one was watching movies, a tradition held from the time they were teenagers, where said little sister ate popcorn and ice cream, making me look at her weirdly

 

And last but not least the talking, about anything and everything going on in their lives at the moment, feelings they wanted to share and you know other bonding stuff between the sisters 

 

It was actually a really great idea and was hoping to do the same with Jamie when I saw her this week, bond and just forget about the past 

 

I would certainly kiss Alex a little bit longer for giving me this idea later 

 

I had a fun time with them 

 

After Kara relaxed from interrogating me for my intentions for her sister and other questions here and there, I found the calm and fun side of her

 

It was really late when we decided to leave since I had to wake up pretty early tomorrow to go to the airport, Alex offered to take me but I didn't want to wake her up that early in the morning, so after she took me back to my apartment and after a very long kiss, which had the potential to turn into something else she left after me promising to text or phone her when I land and just in general text during the week because she would miss me, a lot (that definitely earned her another kiss)

 

Now I was alone in my apartment waiting anxiously for the next day to come 

 

I would see my daughter and hopefully everything would go well

 

As long as the bad feelings didn't come to surface again

 

(I didn't sleep that night at all)

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here the crossover happens the week that Maggie is away to visit her family 
> 
> Let me know what you thought of the chapter :)


	9. A reunion faced with bittersweet tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not late, am I ?
> 
> Hey guys, how are you? I am fine too, thanks for mentally asking, you are too kind
> 
> Another chapter to the story has arrived with a couple revelations and flashbacks in it and of course a lot of emotions flying through the air
> 
> You will see why while reading :)
> 
> Anyways not gonna postpone this any longer
> 
> Enjoy...:)

 

 

A reunion faced with bittersweet tears

 

I was running on adrenaline and was really afraid what would happen when I ran out

 

It was now 5 o’clock in the morning and I was getting ready to head to the airport for my journey back home

 

Home…right…

 

I didn’t sleep at all last night and was really tired but was afraid of what would come in the forms of dreams to sleep

 

I should be happy today, today I am meeting my daughter after 2 long years and I had missed her a lot, how could I not? She was the best daughter to ever exist and a true blessing in my life, hopefully she wouldn’t hate me that much for being away from her for that long and the fact that when we spoke on the phone she seemed fine was a really good omen

 

Anyways after checking to see if I had missed anything that I needed I headed out. The cab I had called had come within a couple of minutes and now we were heading towards the airport and thankfully it didn’t take us too long

 

I checked in and went to grab some coffee that would hopefully keep me awake for the duration of the 2 hour flight to Nebraska, didn’t want to deal with unnecessary nightmares on the way and kill my mood, not that it was that great, but still there was some enthusiasm in it  

 

The time passed quickly, I didn’t even realize how quickly and it was now time to enter the airplane, passport check, ticket check, handbag check I was ok. I gave my ticket and passport to the hostess in order to enter the plane

Within the space of a few minutes I was sitting on my seat watching out the window to the sun rising it was a beautiful sight, I had seen a lot of times but had never appreciated that much

 

I had 2 hours to clear my thoughts and cast away the negative feelings and that’s what I was going to do. Today was a happy day for me and the start of many to come if only everything went well

 

Everything must go well…

 

I didn’t even realize when I fell asleep it was kind of expected with me still recovering and not sleeping due to the anxious feelings I had from everything happening in my life and not surprising I had a nightmare, but it wasn’t it was real life event that happened and has haunted me for the past 3 years

 

_*Dream*_

_“Mama, mama move we get ice cream, come on”_

_“Jamie Sawyer don’t you ever run away from me again, do you hear me young lady?”_

_“Sorry mama, but hurry up ice cream“_

_“Fine fine let’s go”_

_“JAMIE LOOK OUT”_

_“MAMA”_

_*End of Dream*_

 

“JAMIE”

 

“Miss, miss wake up. We have landed to the airport…are you ok?”

 

We had already arrived; I must have slept longer than I thought I did

 

Why do I always have to relive that day all over and over again, wasn’t one time enough

 

Snap out of it Maggie, Jamie is alive and healthy and is waiting for you to come home and spent some time with her this week until you get back to reality. Well it is a better reality with Alex aboard the train now so you have something more to look forward and leave the past behind, as much as you can at least, you have a few dead ends to close and you will

 

I took my bag and stepped out of the airplane, while in the way trying to distract myself I turned on my phone that I turned off before the take off to sent Alex a message that I had arrived safe and sound, maybe better yet send her a selfie to show her

 

I took one and as background had the “Welcome to Nebraska” sign

 

I had decided to rent a car to have the freedom of movement without the need to borrow the car from my mother, she needed it too so renting was it

 

I was ready bag, car, so I started the one hour journey that it took to take me to Blue Springs, my hometown

 

The road was the same; nothing has changed since the last time, that dreadful day I was here when I brought Jamie 2 years ago, everything the same like always, not that I expected anything different

 

Being alone with no noise, just silence being my companion gave me time to think and questions to myself

 

How older did my baby look now? Would she be better? Will she forgive me for being away? Was Alex going to leave me after she found out about CADMUS? What if she it for me and I lost her? How can I get my revenge on Supergirl without anyone knowing?

 

So many questions that only the future would show

 

It was a pretty easy ride; it took me less than an hour to arrive at my hometown and the nerves had started to surface with a even more frantic tempo, just a bit little longer to get to them

 

I took the last turn of the dirty filled road and I was in front of a big farm house, in front of my fears

 

My mother’s car was right the side parked, not that I expected her to be anywhere else but still it would be less unnerving for me to be alone with Jamie for this first meet and greet

 

I stepped out after some very much needed deep breaths, took my bag and headed towards the door, with seriously slow steps

I knocked immediately when I reached the door but no one answered, I knocked once more but still nothing and I was starting to worry, where were they?

 

And while I was ready to break down the door, I heard her, my sweet angel,

 

“MAMA, MAMA YOU’RE HERE, YOU’RE HERE”

 

She was right behind me, running towards, she could run, she was running but with a little difficulty, but still she was

 

I was frozen still looking at her. She was so grown up, the little baby that I had in my arms 6 years ago was long gone, she was a little lady who been through a lot and come through them, she defeated her demons and here she was now walking, running, being happy and I had missed some of those things and there is so much regret flowing through me for that, but the sacrifices I made for her were worth it, all of them, she was better and just that made it all that better for my conscience

 

If I would be here by her side, she wouldn’t have been treated, Lillian wouldn’t have given me her research to help her, not that she helped entirely, she still hasn’t healed her completely, that will happen only and when I would complete my mission, but now that would be impossible because she was in prison

 

 She was half way towards me, a look on her face showing that she was in pain, when I snapped out of it and run the other half of the way faster than light pulling her towards me when we were not even a breath away into the tightest hug I had ever given anyone

 

“Mama…I missed you”

 

“I missed you too, mija”

 

My baby was a victim in an alien’s rampage when she was 4 years old and survived, walking with a brace after a surgery conducted by specialists from CADMUS and I will take revenge for her, I will make that alien pay for all the suffering, all the pain my baby had endured, everything she has made us go through, everything

 

Supergirl will pay

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Raven Reyes was my inspiration for this, I love that woman. also Kara has been Supergirl for more years than in canon, you get the reason
> 
> Let me know what you thought about the chapter, I guess there will be a lot of questions and comments about it
> 
> See you later guys :)


	10. A day spent with family

 

 

A day spent with family

 

"... and then grandma took me to get ice cream because I got a star on my homework and..."

 

Jamie is so happy having me here, she hasn't stopped talking about her school, her friends everything and anything that has happened in her life for the past 2 years. Well what she can remember at least 

 

She slept with me the first night and hasn't gone back to her own bed so far, not that I am complaining, I wanted to be close to her too

 

4 days have passed and my time to go back  is so close and dread is all I feel, but I have too, I am needed in National City, I have a job and even if now it is safer to bring her back due to Lillian's imprisonment, there's still the matter of a alien "superhero" that still is a problem to me 

 

It is still not safe to bring her home

 

Also another reason to go back is Alex, sweet and understanding Alex. She is amazing. Even though all the lying I am truly blessed to be with her, to hold her, to kiss her. She heals me, she makes me happy for the first time in years. I can't lose her 

 

Though I doubt she will stay with me if she finds out the truth 

 

I turn my head and watch Jamie talking and being happy, a smile on her face and think of Alex. I have to at least tell her about Jamie, that I have a daughter, I mean I already told Jamie about Alex and she is so happy for me, she wants to meet her and I want that too.

 

Maybe it will happen someday... 

 

But until that happens I need to chillax and enjoy my time with my 2 other favorite girls in the whole world 

 

Speaking of my mother, as the second favorite girl, hadn't stopped babying me from the time I took the first step into the house, she she has been a little em... overbearing, not that I mind. She has cooked all my favorite meals, which is a thumbs up from me, but she has been you know acting like... a mom 

 

Nevertheless, I missed her. She was the only one after everything that happened that has been there for me, that put me back on my feet, she is my hero

 

I have to have an adult mommy-daughter day with just the 2 of us, drinks, movie anything... there are stuff that we need to talk about anyway that can't be done with little ears running around 

 

But right now I am just going to enjoy my day with my daughter, hoping for time to slow down so I can be here longer, spend more time with her, them 

 

But alas things we want don't always happen...

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jamie fell asleep and I had finally the mommy- me time I wanted 

 

I told her about everything and everyone in my life, talking about the break ups, the people I got to know and be friends and especially Alex. 

 

I mean of course Alex was a topic in our conversation of her own, she asked me all sort of questions which for the time being I answered truthfully. I was sick of all the secrets I had to keep at least one person could know the whole truth

 

I told her about cadmus and Lillian's arrest and the order she had given me to infiltrate a secret organisation and how that happened

 

Everything just flew out of my mouth, it felt so liberating to talk about these stuff, cathartic 

 

The topic of course came back to Alex after all the serious stuff/secret

 

"...and what are you going to do about Alex, now that Lillian is in prison you don't have to pretend or spy, you can just be happy... I see the way you talk about her, it shows how much you care. Don't let this slip out of your fingers "

 

"I know mama, but there are things that I just can't... Supergirl is her co-worker, she they are friends, she cares about her and I just can't... I can't..." 

 

Tears started rolling from my eyes at the reminder of what that Damn super had done

"... She is the reason Jamie is like that, she is the reason Jamie might never walk like she used to, she is the reason she had to suffer so much at the age of 5, she is the reason for everything that has happened... I just can't, I hate her..."

 

My mom hugged me tightly, leaving me to dry out my tears and my emotions in her embrace, her hugs always made everything better

 

"Mija it has been 2 years, I know everything that happened I was there, I watched but don't you think it's time to let go... No no hear me out... Jamie can walk, yeah she is in pain but she is getting better and better as time goes by... She will heal and I think it is best to forgive and forget or at least just let it go. Don't let hatred fill your heart, I let you so far but I can't anymore, I don't want you to turn to someone you don't want to, don't turn into someone you can't look in the mirror, be someone better. You have the chance now... no just think about it, there's nothing to lose, you will just gain from it"

 

Think... yeah I had a lot of things to think

 

I just nodded to her, not wanting to talk about that topic anymore

 

As I was standing to go put some more wine in my glass my phone rang and it was Alex 

 

"Hey... "

 

She cut me off before I could say anything else

 

"Lillian escaped from prison"

 

The glass slipped through my fingers shattered on the floor 

 

 

 


End file.
